orangelyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i wish upon a star. okie.. just went to run.. realized the horrific numbers on the weighing scale is scaring the daylights out of me.. hopefully 20 rounds a day would make the numbers more minute. argh. anywaes.. MIN U WENT TO ZeEE wrong park!!! alamak.. haha.. but it was so fun.. made a few new friends (old grannies?).. hmmm... nearly died... but hell it was good... think i'll get back to the mugging mood again.. shall attempt history todaay... i have to.. kinda forgot everything bout the tasr and his stupid revolution, i mean.. how lame can the old russians get.. start communism.. den ended it.. wonderful.. came up with all that stupid world war with all that bloody white treaties.. and hence.. our history book.. baskets. think that i screwed my chinese paper up. omg. daarnz.. i dun wanna do chinese no more. meeting lester at eight thirty later... at his place.. yup.. and..hmmm... going to see stars!!! yay!! haha.. and to give him wad i owe him.. he always manages to brighten up my day.. hope it'll stay this way.. and wad happened in the park.. i don't think that it's appropriate.. i mean.. given our status now.. both of us.. confusions clouds i guess.. i haven really felt this way.. it's like this love it's so pure and innocent.. so daunting and real.. it's like the first time i'm feeling this way.. and i get jealous.. believe anot.. gawd.. this is getting so bad.. its like we could almost read each other's mind and felt emotions when he laid on my lap.. and when stuff happened.. i hope it'll be better today though.. wahaha... :):):):):).. oh.. i painted my toenails black and my fingernails blackberry.. awesome. :) barhz.. i dunnoe wad's going on on desmond's side.. i hope he's alright.. hope he's tot bout it.. i mean it does concern me.. *sobs* sheesh.. i've always told myself.. that if i were to be in a relationship.. i've also gotta learn how to let go.. but sumhow.. i just keep trying and failing.. like they always say.. the hardest and most hurtful thing one can experience is to look at the one he loves love another, knowin that he can never have her. and the best part is that i noticed that my life envolves around bitches, sluts, bastards, heartbreaks and tears. i need counciling.. i noe i've been saying this for a few months.. but tell me it's normal to cry over a song.. over sumone.. whom is invisible.. min, safy and john went out todae.. pose to follow but had puffy eyes and a bad throat.. heachache too. hmmm.. didn't go sp today.. couldn't be bothered and didn't like it... like a total turn off.. apparently.. i never ever tot i would fall in love so fast again. dammmit. should have known better to turn a way. actually.. i wish i did.. *sighs* guess its too late.. i'm fallen hard onto the web of deception and love. the more i try to struggle.. the more tangled i get.. and when i let things go their way.. it's so alluring.. and pleasant.. yet.. i know that this web will break one day.. for now.. i'll allow myself to get tangled.. and pleased. 10:05 a.m. - Tuesday, Jun. 01, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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