orangelyn's Diaryland Diary

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happy b'dae to this gurrl of no one

aye aye.
today's pract went alright.
except the part bout the fucking tomato placenta.
-screams-
HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW?!!
sighs sighs
nutting much happened.
just so shit.

oh.
i spilled like a tube of benedict solution onto mah paper?
brilliant.
no idea how it would look when it drys.
kinky.

funny how.
this b'dae isn't like what it used to be.
perhaps.
b'cause of all those memories.
finally i'm 16.
so what?
it doesn't change anything.
i'm full of envy.
what the hell ami thinking of.
i'm not sure mahself.
shouldn't trust people so easily.
it's way too ugh.

got locked in the ava room after the practs.
as usual char and min were acting the love birds.
hoho.

thank god for mah friends.
couldn't have made it so far without them.

discuss disgust.
i've seen ewwww!!! today.
not that it is some shit of mine.
but.
hello?
i still want mah eye sight.
and to live normally.

i'm so bored.
the silly things that i do to mahself.
like slit mah wrists.
alright.
not really slit slit.
cut rather.
or mark making.
hehs.
i like it.
wellish.
the stress part is quite an excuse.
i mean FUCK!!!
- pouts-.

i'm seeing couples e v e r y w h e r e .
i miss mah boyfriend.
or girlfriend.
oh fine!
i lied.
neither are real.
i wan a hug.
not just any normal hug.
you know that kind that make you feel that you actually lived for a reason?
yeah.
that kinda hug.
:\.

-poke poke-
i have this major urge to go to town.
i have to restrain mahself.
it's not going anywhere!!!

min treated me to kfc.
lena gave me a whole bag of chocs!!
pen gave me home-made brownies!!!
((((:

currently searching for mah old life back.
before i even realized the existance of O levels.
the bliss.

there's something seriously wrong with me.
like i'm bloody deprived.
wait.
i am.
-whines

where are you when i needed you the most?

no where. gone. lost.

Why would you play with mah heart,
When I gave it all,
It's tearing me apart,
All you had to do is say it so,
I would of let you go,
You're making it so hard
Would you just tell me why you lied to me,
If it never really was what you had for me,
Why did you say that you wanted me, needed me,
Why did you say you believed in me,
It's driving me crazy baby.

4:40 pm - Monday, Oct. 18, 2004

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