orangelyn's Diaryland Diary

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i miss you || sorry for the lies

i hope all goes well..

stuff happened..

not really pleasent..

kinda worried me abit..

stirred emotions..

thoughts..

paraniod u might sae..

but still i have to figure it out myself..

it might be painful..

but i have to know..

its like..

argh... i can't describe..

maybe i'm jealous?!! ( *sobs* )

lalalala..

skool might be cancelling mid year..

yarx..

pls lord..

let it happen

oh.. right.. found wat i wanted to sae.. its the sense of insecurity..

i mean.. i've been through rubbish and all dat.. it's so hard to believe that it's so real.. and things like trust comes into the picture..i've always wanted to live up to my promises.. and yet now.. the way i'm behaving.. i'm in utter disgust.. fine.. guess.. i should have trust and stop acting like a bitch.. *sighs* i'm terrified that it's just a sweet dream.. and dat i might wake up soon.. i dun want to.. i can't really explain wad happened.. it so confusing.. and i'm kinda torn in a way.. i can't expect perfectness from him.. i try to understand.. i want to.. right.. my virtues.. ( bahz)

i plan to do all that..

it will be tough.. i know..

to be "open"

to be nice..

to be his..

sighs

i hope i can take it when it comes..

but right now..

all's fine..

besides all that shit i've been thinking about..

thanks my dear mushroom friend..

always with me..

but i looove the chocolate and rum thingy we had..

dearie dooling..

i wish upon a wishing star...

that you'll be happy..

thanks for being dere in my life my little one.. my precious one..

lyn

5:06 p.m. - Monday, Apr. 12, 2004

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