orangelyn's Diaryland Diary

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a new chapter

I�m back!!!! �hugs the pc. Finally. Out of the stupid stupid hospital. �argh. That freaking place is killing me. uh-huh. And a fucking hell lot happened. Minus the fact that I left my min min, joyce and john traumatized. For life. Yup. See I�m so nice. :)))))) erm. The details. Will be as followed. Yeah. So read on. If you bother. I know you do. So read. To find out why I was absent from school. It was supposed to be hush hush till I came out. Yup. So don�t blame min or joyce or anyone else for not saying. Cause I told them not to. Yup.

30th October 2004
Brilliantly, the night before. I called min and joyce. Managed to psycho them into not going to school. So the plan was to go to ah-lian jie�s place to study. For erm the whateva test we were going to have. Right. Oh. So lyn decided that we should go and watch a movie instead. And ta-da! Resident evil: Apocalypse. I screamed my ass of. And and!! We smuggled min min in. heh. Oh. Wait. She paid. I got smuggled in. �woot. So there we were, with min drooling at Alice or her abs rather, joyce looking stoned and lyn with her legs off the ground. Huddled. Up. Somewhere. Beside min min. hoho. It�s so amazing how things changes huh? Yeah. read on. After the show. �thinks. Oh. Went to take neos. As usual. Heh. The machine was nice!! This sofa thingy with this remote control button look alike. Yeah. So nice!! But it was like ten buckaroos. Yar. Hole in the pocket. All of us were dried. As in no ka-ching. Blink blink. No more. Went back to joyce place. Was about to study when I so smartly remembered that joyce had vodka! And den. Den. Erm. Ya. I errr.. drank. Wasn�t planning to drink so much you know cause afterall it�s vodka. And I drank it pure. So I thought that a tiny bit would do me no harm. And. I drank. But. I kinda finished the whole bottle? Which was like 1 litre. Er ya. Happily got drunk. Flopped round the room banging into the bed. And the walls. Proclaiming that I wasn�t drunk. (yes, lyn. The blind could see). Finally settled myself on the bed when I remembered too that I had a bio test the next day. You see mr. Chan� s face kinda popped in front of me. so I �got up� tried to make my way around the room to find my books. But I found the remaining vodka instead. (I had drunk only half when min and joyce tried to hide the bottle). Yeah. So that�s how I got the whole bottle down my throat. Someone should smack me. like 1 litre of 40% alcoholic stuff in me. applaud please. So I flopped back to one side. Tried to get min�s attention but she had her head buried in some stupid magazine. Right. Den I went cuckoo. Made a hell lot of noise. (you see I wanted attention. So ya. Heh). And min had to slap me. �ouch. But she�s trying to erm �wake� me. yeah. So I started wailing not long after. Immediately rather. Oh. Spilled E V E R Y S I N G L E T H I N G about J O H N. Yesh. That john john. John. As in duckie john. Yup. Oh here are the �everythings�:

• I miss him so much


• I love him


• I want him back!!!!!


• Do you know how much fucking happiness he gave me?!!? �no, we did not have sex


• But he�s got a girlfriend now!!! �wails somemore


• I tried so hard to forget him


• He just wouldn�t go away !!!!!


• Why did he have to leave? Why?!!


• You don�t understand!! You don�t!!!


• He just left like that, just went left me


• It�s so painful you know? It hurts so much..


• Go away!!! Just go away!! Leave me alone!!!

HIM: Listen to me� (blah blah ).. wake up lyn.. wake up..
ME: NO!!!! I DON�T WANNA LISTEN TO YOU!!! JUST GO AWAY!!! GO AWAY!!!!
( the phone got passed to joyce and he told her to put lime on my lips for god knows what reason. Then the phone came back to me)

HIM: Lyn.. Wake up.. get up.. you�re drunk..
ME: YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN YOU BROUGHT ME? YOU KNOW? I MISS YOU SO MUCH!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?!! .. (�everything�)

Sort of repeated �everything� to him on the phone for like 15mins or so. Yeah. Then the phone got passed back to joyce. And she talked to him. I�ve yet to find out what they said.

Blacked out soon after. Min and joyce thought I was sleeping. So they let me continue sleeping for like one and a half hour. Cause they thought I was snoring when I was trying to breathe. Tried to wake me. but I had bo response. So joyce told min to flip me on my side. Den started puking all over. Couldn�t stop. They got so freaked out. Called 995. Ambulance came. Rushed me to the hospital. Parents came. Went into Accident and Emergancy. Came out. Was �alright�. Got sent into the general ward. Den suddenly started puking non-stop again. My doctor. Came in looked at me. Walked out and said: shit. Min and joyce thought it was over. Nah. Still survived. Went into ICU. My parents were told that I couldn�t breathe on my own. I needed a machine and a fucking tube to help me live. Parents broke down even more. Joyce was crying her mum too. Police case. I got involved. Under-age drinking. There you go.

1st October 2004, children�s day
Heard people calling me. Woke up. Was told that I was in ICU. That I was brought in by an ambulance. Couldn�t talk. Had a tube in my lungs through my throat. Another tube through my nose into my stomach. Another dripping sodium chloride into my vein in my left hand. Another tubing in my right wrist, supposedly to take my pulse rate. The last one in my bladder. Fuck. I felt so vegetable. Had painful stitches when I tried to move. Tried a few more times. Hurt like shit. Gave up. Laid back. Opened my eyes. Looked out of the window. Saw two high-ranked policemen staring and waving at me. Decided that going back to sleep was the right thing. Eyelids closed. Saw black. Heard beeps not for long then silence.

Got woken up again. Was told to breathe on my own. So I didn�t need the machine. Tried. Hurt so much. Like my lungs were torn. Bu I had to though. The doctor would let me rest. I stopped breathing for a while thought got too tired. Went back to sleep unsuccessfully and got woken up again. Damm. It was hell. Finally. After like 3 hours or so whilst attempting to breathe on my own, they decided to take the tube out. Felt like fish out of water. Seriously couldn�t breathe. Started coughing very hard. Stomach clenched in reflexes of the muscles. Was tearing badly. Couldn�t cry. Realized it would be too painful. Couldn�t talk either. Pain was all I felt. Nothing came out. Throat felt like it was being expanded twice it�s original size. But very little air came to my lungs. My blood pressure dropped. Went back to blackness.

Round 2.30pm. Got woken up. Felt nauseous. The nurse sucked out brownish liquid out of my stomach through that nose tube. Then she gave me a jab to stop me for puking. It helped though. Tried to talk. Ended up rasping out air. Didn�t recognize my voice. Still hurt when I breathe. Felt so much like giving up. But the doctor and nurses wouldn�t leave me in peace. Told that I would be transferred to high-dependency ward later. Parents came. Mum�s voice was wavering. Dad�s too. Then they had to leave. Mum wanted to kiss my good-bye but she didn�t want to infect me with her cough. Went back to rest.

5.30 pm: Got wheeled to the high �d ward. Still half conscious.

7.00pm: Dad woke me up. Told me my friends were here. Char, min and joyce came. I was so happy to see them. Wanted to get up. Still held back by pain. They came. Talked. Told me. Roughly what happened. Wasn�t that blur after that. Knew the basic details. The hospital mask was way too big for char. She looked like a duck. Or an exotic bird of some kind. Heh. Was amusing. Joyce looked very very pale. Could see that she didn�t sleep and rest well. But till then I didn�t know what happened. Visiting time soon ended. They brought me oranges and shortbread. �hugs. I love you guys. Min was saying that she would come visit me tomorrow. So did Joyce. Char said she�ll try. Gave me her bio book to study though. Sweet. Min lent me her magazine. Was put to good use. Felt tired again and went back to sleep.

4.00 am: Nurses woke me up. Told me a sergeant wanted to talk to me. Asked if I drank like 30ml of vodka. I said no. I drank the whole bottle. He sad oh. And went away. Weird. Then a few nurses came in. Told me they were going to bath me. Was so embarrassed. God. But I had no choice. Firstly, I can�t move. So I couldn�t do anything. Secondly. I couldn�t scream. So yeah. That�s hw it went. Not to mention that a male doctor came in half way and told the nurses that he had to give me a jab at the groin area. The pain was excruciating. Had a blue black. Got put back to sleep.

2nd October 2004
8.00am: Nurses woke me. Told me I�ll be transferred to the general ward. At last. No machines. And no needles. Or so I thought. But they still stuck one in me anyways. The one in my left wrist remained. The rest of the tubes got removed. �ahh. The pleasure. And I could speak!!! Yup. So yeah. Made a couple of noises. But it didn�t help. The nurses still had it their way.

5.35pm: got pushed into the general ward. I didn�t know that the lifts that were used for the beds were so big.

3rd October
woke at 5.00am. couldn�t sleep. Joyce. Min. Ganma. Fonseka. Everyone came. I�ve got a teddy!!! Hehe. Love my cuzzies. They rock. Watched Zhang Wuji yesterday. Min lost her card though. Was laughing at her. And her new name? Min min!!! Yeah. You guys know what I�m talking bout ya? Go find your Wuji ge!!! Gan ma gave me a kitty. And a get well card. �hugs. I luff herrrr. Was visited by a psychologist. Sighs.

Had a heart to heart talk with my dada. He�s cool bout my tattoo. Well. Actually my whole family�s cool bout it. Yeah. So didn�t get into shit. I love my parents so much!!! Especially my dada. He�s so awesome. And he�s gonna get me a dog. Yeah!!!! Didn�t know this side of my daddy. Till that day. He�s just so nice.

Well. I�m beginning to see things differently now. Like really different. And I�m cool with john. Yeah. We�re like talking. So erm. Ya. It�s kinda good. And no. there�s no chance of patching up.

And to my lifesavers. I owe you.

joyce: I know I�ve gotten you into deep shit. Sorry for making you cry. Sorry for making your whole family get involved. And you and your mum. I know things are strained. So babe. I�ll be there for you. Just the way you�re there for me when I needed a friend. DON�T blame urself for what happened. Just look ahead. Don�t look behind. Gurrrl. I want you to share your problems with me kae? I know how you feel. �hugs. Cheer up. Things will be just fine.

min: you pig!!!! You slapped me. �hmpfs. But I love you for that. Thanks for being there and all. For coming to visit me. and not telling anyone. �hugs. I really appreciate it. And for saving my life. I�ll be ur chomp chomp partner forever.

char : you still look like a duck. Yeah. Wahahaha. Face it larx. 2kg!!!! Lolx. I luff you too. Thanks for ur bio book and keeping me accompanied. And for coming over today.

Oh. They took off my fucking piercing. I mean the ear one. Yeah. I�ve to go get it done again. Dammit.

My cuzzies gave me a teddy. A sheep from happy house. And a hand-made cd cum card. I love them too. Those sweeties. And my lil cuzziie joslynn came too. She looks so sweets you know. And the best part? I didn�t know she was a prefect till that day. Heh. She�s so cute.

Hospital food is good. I know it doesn�t sound sane but yup. It�s good. And I�m having blue blacks all over. All pins and needles. All thanks to injections.

And I�m 120 buckaroos richer. �grins.

I love my grandpa.

John�s preachin me online. Not ape john. The other one. Yeah. Stuff. They change. I know. I�m just glad he�s still talking to me. hah.

Anyways. That�s my chapter. With a happy ending. There�s more to come. Nothing�s gonna bring me down again.

Ps: I won�t be in skool till Thursday. Hehe.

9:53 pm - Monday, Oct. 04, 2004

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