orangelyn's Diaryland Diary

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forgotten

Busted - Air hostess

Right.
I've decided to blog again ?
Wad's new anyways.
-sighs-

Had a talk with mah aunt.
I used to hate herr to hell when i was young.
Didn't understand her and the shit she had to go thru when she was young.
Yeah, the childhood horror thing.
Me and my stubbon self.
To think of it, i rarely gave myself any chance to understand her at all.
Now, i've got the highest respect held up high fer her.
My kind of lady.
One who thinks and loves herself, is a successful career woman, believes in being miss independent, never relies on guys (alt she's married), practical and intelligent.
I love her loads now.
- Partially cause she help me paint my nails.
-smiles-

Thru this talk, kinda put more knowledge into me.
It's the wake up call.
Just realized that i really have been slacking my entire 16 yrs away.
And she knows bout him too.
How ?
I don't know.
Bitched bout politics, faces of the working world.
Projects itself to be quite a nightmare to me.
Something i'd have to deal with in the rightest sense of mind.
Occured den to me that friends, they don't really stand by you as much as your family does.
No matter how close or how dear they proclaim to be to you, they'll let you down, one way or another.
She wanted me to meet other kinds of ppl she knows.
Ranging from Tai- Tais, to prostitues, to social escorts, to wealthy business women, to pub owners, to ppl in girls home.
Just to show the reality of life to me.
I'm so full of awe for her.
Quite gulity after thinking how much i wished her dead last time.
To me, she opened up a new door in me.
One that has been neglected for ages.

Now, i know that we'll move on anyways.
That i can't keep on waiting for you.
I'll have to lead my life, and you, yours.
For me, I don't want to make another mistake like i did with you.
I want the rest of my days to be sunny.
Away from your presence, the shadow of you and me.
It's been nearly six mths.
I'm not saying that you are not good enough to stay in my memory.
Somethinggs, they should be erased or should have never happened.
Just like you and me.
I'm putting the past of us behind.
I'll try hard thou it's not easy.
It has never been.
Someday, if we meet, these feelings will cease their existance in me.
And you, a mere passer-by.
I need to thank you for giving me this lesson.
Making me realize to treasure the present and not take it for granted only to have regret laterr.
Frankly, i dare not ask myself if i had really known you.
I don't think i have.
Impulse was what described our r/s.
I've loved you.
I still do.
But in time to come,
I'll just say that i had once loved a stranger.
One that broke my world before.
So, i'm moving on.
Doing what i shld have so long ago.
Goodbye sweet stranger; angel of pain.

Btws,
My aunt's agreed to put in $500 after i've got my first thousand.
Hello ape, i want your ex job.
(((: ! ! ! !

10:52 pm - 12.10.04

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